the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
