i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
