if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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