We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize
