Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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