tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize