i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
