YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
