I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
