I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
They have beer where we have blood.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
