I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
