hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
