I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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