my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize