Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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