i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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