I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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