We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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