who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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