she woke up with a sticky ear
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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