i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize