I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
