I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Houston, we have a squirter
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
