Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
