Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Less talking, more tequila
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
