My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize