i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
