we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
