Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
