You can't motorboat a personality
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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