Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
