he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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