So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
