eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
