Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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