I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
