We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
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