dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize