you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
