Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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