i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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