I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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