he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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