one two three fourrrrnication!
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
