she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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