U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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