We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
