it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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