We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
