Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
