if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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