how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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