Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
