Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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