who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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