I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
