He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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