he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize