Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
