my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
