TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
