is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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