He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If its not for food we ain't going out.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
