I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
