so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
i need some magic done to my vagina
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
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