sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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